The unfortunate events of a serial overthinker…

If my life were a movie, it would definitely be called The Unfortunate Events of a Serial Overthinker, let’s start there..

Now to a certain extent I know we all over think things some time or another but if you’re like me and you over think EVERYTHING, you understand the burden of this terrible habit. When I say I over think everything I mean EVER-Y-THING! I over think the conversations I’ve had through out the day, was my tone fine? Did I come across as rude ? Was I too submissive ? I overthink my actions, my body language, my delivery, to the point of nauseating myself, why can’t I get things right ? Why did I say that knowing better ? Why did I do that knowing better ? Why did I allow myself to be pushed over ?

I begin to question my life decisions and start to recall every single time I’ve messed things up. I start self-loathing, trapped within the prison of my thoughts, feeling helpless. It is a dark place to be because it often feels like there’s no escape, you can’t escape your mistakes, you can’t escape your flaws and you definitely can’t escape your thoughts… you can quieten them down for a while, distract them for a bit but the minute you’re alone they come flooding back because, well, you can’t escape YOU.

The crazy thing about all of this is that after a while of telling yourself you’re not good enough, you always mess up, nobody wants to be around you… you end up believing it and you manifest it for your life. I could never understand why some people would dislike me for no reason, I could never understand why despite knowing better I would make some silly mistakes, I could never understand why the same things happened to me all the time and honestly the answer was ‘me’, because of me and my thoughts. I would punish myself mentally whenever I did something wrong, regardless of how big or small, not realising that I was actually manifesting my thoughts and projecting exactly what I thought of myself.

I know to some people it may sound far fetched but after a while of telling yourself something you begin to believe it, it alters how you view things. If you keep telling yourself someone is not really fond of you, eventually you’ll believe it and you will view everything they do from that perspective so even if they really have nothing against you, you’ll think they do. That’s the power of the mind and that’s why overthinking is such a dangerous thing.

Like I’ve previously mentioned, you can’t escape you, you can’t escape your past or your mistakes and the dangerous thing about this is that the more you dwell on it the more you fall into the cycle of repeating the very same things and ending up in that dark place again..

Personally I feel the main reasons for all the overthinking we do is because 1. We struggle to forgive ourselves 2. We place too much value on the thoughts and opinions of people 3. Because we struggle to forgive ourselves we feel everyone views us in the same light we view ourselves.

I want to urge you to be graceful with yourself, allow yourself to stumble and know that even when you pick yourself up, you’re allowed to stumble again. I’m not saying don’t be accountable for when you mess up or use the excuse that you’re prone to error to do silly things but be understanding with yourself. You don’t always have to try and make things better, sometimes we’re so desperate to make things better we end up making it worse, some situations can be left in the past without interference, rather focus on how you can DO better going forward. I urge you to let go of the weight of the opinions of the world, a lot of humans will celebrate your failures and bask in your defeats, even the ones closest to you, know that your identity does not lie in the opinions of others and you are not defined by your mistakes or your flaws.

Start thinking of yourself the way you’d like to be thought of, start speaking to yourself the way you’d like to be spoken to, get to know yourself more and you’ll understand the root causes of a lot of your problems, get rid of things that drain you of your light and make you unhappy, declutter your mind of any thoughts that are not beneficial to you and your growth, find time to entertain things and people that help you become better and nurture your soul.

I started this post to show you how my overthinking has often caused some of my biggest heartaches in life and I’m ending it with a pep talk to you and myself, it’s a fight you’ll fight every day, and you’ll have good days and some times you’ll have bad days but the one thing about training your mind everyday is that you get stronger. Life may not always get easier but you’ll get stronger. You have to make the decision to make the most of the short time you have here, you have to make the decision to choose gratitude, happiness and forgiveness. You were created to be great and you can’t achieve that if you are bound by your thoughts. Remember you are the director of the movie that is your life, you can change your story, you can change your title.

Wishing you love and light.

Until next time x

All these watches & still no time ?😕🤔

With this being my first post I felt it would probably set the tone for the rest of my blog so for a while I pondered a topic I felt would be interesting, so here we are 😂…

At this stage of our lives we’re (to a certain extent) expected to have a ‘plan’ for what we intend to do for the rest our lives & we find ourselves going from prison life (yes I’m talking about school), where you’re told what to do as well as when and how to do it to suddenly being deemed as capable of making your own decisions, so here you stand like a deer in headlights w/ the world in front of you, your family behind you ( smiling b/c their little Jane/Frikie is now a young adult) and you,in the middle, nervously wondering how 12 years of learning how to add numbers together, that love makes you do crazy things like fake your own death & drink poison and how to identify different animals by certain characteristics, has prepared you for this exciting yet terrifying thing called adulthood. Scary right ? I know 😥

More often than none we find ourselves feeling pressured & slightly delayed when we can’t answer inquisitive Aunt Sally’s question of what our 20-year plan is and how long before she’ll be able to enjoy the comfort of being driven around by you in your new fancy car because I mean you’ve been out of school for a few years now so shouldn’t you be like a doctor or something?

As funny as these scenarios may sound too many of us find ourselves burdened w/ the pressure of TIMING. Besides our own aspirations and desires for what we want our adult lives to be like, the expectations from everyone around us causes us to feel inadequate if we find ourselves a little confused about what our ‘next move’ will be. Adding the fact that we live in a digital generation where every detail of our lives is simply a click away ( I’m guilty of this too) we’re often smacked in the face by the success of fellow young adults leaving us feeling like we should have accomplished something by now as well.

This is where (as mentioned above) we begin to put a time on everything, we begin comparing our lives and timelines to that of other people our age or around our age, we become so obssessed w/ wanting to live up to artificial standards that anything less sends us spiralling into a state of depression.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt

Cliché as it may be we tend to forget that we’re all different therefore we all move at different paces. Every lesson & challenge you face is meant to mould you & prepare you for YOUR true purpose; your destination. By nature our destinations differ from person to person so why do we expect our journies to be the same? How can we expect to build our OWN lives if we use someone else’s blueprint as a means of measuring our own success?

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it isn’t good to aspire to be something in life or even work hard towards it, I’m saying that while doing so don’t beat yourself up b/c things are not working out as fast as they are for your neighbour, don’t beat yourself up b/c you find yourself stumbling every now and then & falling victim to your human nature, it’s part of growing up, it’s part of the experience. With the correct mentality, faith & perseverance what’s meant for you will ALWAYS be for you, simply b/c it’ll have no option but to manifest.

Understand that whatever you sew, you reap, the thoughts you constantly plant in your mind, whether it be good or bad, eventually manifest into your reality.

So if no one has told you this today YOU’RE 👏 DOING 👏 GREAT 👏 SWEETIE👏

😂😂😂

Happy Friday x!